The Spectator had to be called in one of the days from the usual chores of downing in one or two from his favourite waterhole at the Terraces in order to attend to a dispute that was ensuing at the local hospital.
A hospital, of all places is the most unlikely place to expect a dispute arising, lest one is accused of being unsympathetic to the ailing, the sick, or even the recently dear departed. But, being a person whose duties are required everywhere else because of his negotitiation skills, he had to leave the likes of Rangwani (remember the tall one of the "gun-totting braai act" fame), to enjoy the merry waters on their own.
The hospital (I hear somebody talk about the House Of Sick People In Towns And Locations), is a place where people whose deteriorating bodies and souls need a little bit of panel beating and resuscitation. To those who are lucky, they emerge out of the place better than they were when they walked in, but to the majority, this a place of condemnation, where one's relatives do not want to end up with a cadaver in their homes. Thus they deposit you in this huge house and visit you everyday with a hope of finding you expired and thereafter converge somewhere, wail at the top of their voices before arranging you in some wooden box and lastly planting you in the ground with a hope of you coming back after some decades as a spirit to haunt the living.
Our friend Shortie became unfortunate enough and found that his waning health was failing him. Without anyone to oversee to his health, only his landlord was there when he needed help. And help indeed came as Shortie was taken to the hospital by the benevolent landlord who wanted to make sure that Shortie would not die. This, the landlord had to reiterate to the health authorities never to let this man die.
The landlord arrived just in time before Shortie was about to expire from an unknown ailment (please note, this ailment is not liquor nor ladies-related). The landlord, seeing a potential danger in Shortie's death, cranked his old Peugeot 303 jalopy, loaded Shortie into the boot of the car and rushed him to the hospital, just some few kilometres away. Luckily, Shortie and his landlord found the good doctor in the vicinity and the learned professional started scanning all over Shortie's body with his gadgets. At that time, the landlord realised that, in such good hands, Shortie was not going to kick the bucket after all. The landlord, however just wanted to make sure that the doctor would not let his tenant die.
"Doctor, do not let him die, oh" This statement was repeated again and again by the landlord to the extent that the doctor became concerned about the man's good heartedness. The landlord's face had sympathy and consolation written all over his face. The more he saw the landlord's face, the more determined he became that Shortie must survive.
"Are you going to pay his medical bills sonce you are his only relative?" asked the doctor. "Just make sure that he survives doctor, we'll see what we can do doctor" answered the landlord. althoug the doctor did not approve of the landlord's relpy, he however went ahead with his work nevery worring about the medical bills.
"What is the problem doctor? Please do not let him die oh, doctor!" started the landlord again, now almost crying. "If he dies, doctor, I will hold you accountable!" the landlord was almost shouting now.
"Why?", asked the doctor. "Is he your firend, son or son-in-law?"
"No doctor, this man is my tenant and he owes me six months rentals. If he dies now, who will give me the money. Please do not let his die" the landlord was now crying to the utter amazement of all the people who were around. Everybody around laughed, but the landlord became more confused.
The doctor did not show any emotions, for the profession comes with surprises. At this time, the doctor must have thought, I must concentrate on my job and nothing else and fulfil my mandate, that of making sure that lives are preserved, whether the owners of the lives owe something to other or not.
At that same time, poor Shortie awoke, miraculously from the dead, rose from the bed he had been wheeled on. Looking around the unafamiliar room, he came face to face with his landlord and the doctor. It then dawned on him that he was in a hospital, and this man with stethoscopes around his neck was the doctor, and that it was the doctor who had resuscitated him.
"Oh doctor, why?" was the only statement Shortie could utter.
The doctor became fabberghasted when he noticed that the landlord was jumping up and down and rejoicing whilst a creased, frowning face adorned Shortie, the owne of life the doctor had just saved over the events. The landlord was shouting to Shortie, "I told you, you would not die. I knew it, you were not going to die. Now, see, you are back to life, thank the doctor and me"
But it was Shortie's reaction which baffled all, "Oh doctor, why did you bring be back to life. You should have allowed me to die, oh, doctor. You have ruined me, doctor" Shortie was becoming hysterical. In no time at all, the ailing man was back to his feet, pacing up and down, blaming the health delivery system for not allowing other people to enjoy their peace.
"You should let me die, now!" shouted Shortie. Shortie became uncontrably shaking in a fit of rage. The doctor, understanding very much the nature of human minds after what Shortie had gone through, sought better ways to make sure that the situation had been contained. He whispered something to Shortie's landlord and the nurses around. He appeared to have give up to Shortie's demands to end the debt-ridden short man.
The beautiful nurse who had been in the doctor's company all along then disappeared and brought an eerie-looking injection with a white, clear fluid. Turning to Shortie, the doctor said, "Right, I am now granting you the last wish. Say goodbye to everybody around. Have you written your will, because in the next six hours, you will be dining with angels above" The doctor said this with pride, and looking around to smiling faces in the room. He then injected the fluid into Shortie's buttocks, waved goodbye and was about to exit the room when some new people entered the room.
Everybody looked towards the door as the new entrants into the room banged the door open without announcing their arrival. It was a man and a woman, but looking at the man, it was obvious that this man was Shortie's brother as both were anatomically disadvantaged in terms of height. Shortie did not want to see his brother either as he sat there, motionless, otherwise contem,plating that in the near future he would be meeting his maker.
"Doctor," started the new short man, for we shall call him thus since we do not know his name, "What is the problem, he is my brother, I had come to visit him at his home when I heard that he had been ferried to this hospital"
The doctor took his time to explain to this new man "Well, your brother was brought in here literally dead by his landlord. But, unfortunately, your brother had asked that we terminate his life as he owes his landlord six months' rentals. And I had done just that, and in six hours, your brother will have died. I am sorry" said the doctor sympathetically.
The new short man turned to his brother's "But, brother, how can you do that? You should have told me that you were having problems paying rentals, I would have come to help you pay the rentals. Turning to the landlord, the new short man asked "How much is he owing you?"
"It is ninety dollars only since he was paying fifteen dollars a month, but I had asked the doctor that this man should live. I was even prepared to waive the debt. I do not know why he killed him" answered the landlord, apologetically.
At that same time, the new short man produced a wad of crispy United States' dollars and gave them to the landlord. "Here is two hundred dollars, and this had included the rentals for the coming six months. But since my brother will be dead in the next six hours, I am now paying only what he owed, which is ninety dollars only. Can I have my change?" said the new short man, extending the arm with only one hundred dollars, whilst the rest of the cash found its way into the back pocket.
It was Shortie who spoke first. Appearing mesmerised, he shouted "Oh doctor, so you have killed me! But why, how come you kill a person simply because he owes somebody some money. Is that what you were taught at University, that is if you have been there at all" Shortie was irate, livid and uncontrallable. He was folding the arms of his long, white shirt, signalling that the battle lines had been drawn and he was more than ready to tackle the man who had terminated his life some few minutes ago. It was just a matter of time before he would expire, thought Shortie.
The doctor had to run for dear life whilst Shortie was in pursuit. The situation was olny calmed down by the hospital authorities who were later told that the learned doctor had not killed Shortie after all. He had injected a harmless liquid into the poor man. Shortly before his departure, Shortie's brother had also decided to cancel the deal he had struck with Shortie's landlord after for no apparent reason, withdrawing all the cash he had handed over to the landlord.
The landlord and Shortie came face to face again with no solution having been reached.
Am outta here.
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